I am sitting here at my neighborhood Starbucks having a refreshing caffeinated beverage. I just couldn’t take sitting in the home office anymore today. So I , like everyone else, gravitate toward a cafe like atmosphere. It’s kinda ironic, because Starbucks is where JoJo and I first met. In the next few posts i am going to give you a short history of our eight years together. Some of the things I say will shock you, others will make you laugh, but the goal of it all is to give you some background to my supposed expertise on love and relationships.
I worked at Starbucks for 4 years. It was a great job. Good pay (back then) and great benefits. Great job. Personally i was very confused as to who i really was. I lived in constant inner turmoil. Am i straight? Am i gay? In truth, I knew I was gay, but this was wrong according to the way i was raised. I enjoyed looking at men, I enjoyed being with men. Women did not make me happy. Women actually drove me crazy, and I hated being around them. (no offense to any woman who reads this, I have changed alot since coming out). So…internally I knew I was gay. Externally I felt it was wrong (add your religious arguments here) and I even got married to get rid of these feelings. Yes, this queen was married to a woman. I justified the marriage by believing that being married would cause the “gay” feelings to go away. After 6 years….it hadn’t worked. And I had amazing proof that it didn’t work when one day while being the neighborly Barista, a young man walked in and asked if we were hiring.
From that moment on, life began to clear itself from the haze of self hatred. The negated revelations of inner exposure began to open themselves to the light of truth. From that point, it no longer mattered if being gay was wrong, it made no difference what could make those feeling go away, because I knew they would never go away….and i didn’t want them to.
